Young men should also understand that if they call themselves Ahmadis and consider themselves as true Ahmadis they should not simply pursue personal wishes and marry Ahmadi girls and pay attention to faith over worldly wishes. The next generation is not only ruined by girls marrying outside Ahmadiyyat, it can also be the case when young men marry outside. Each Ahmadi should understand that one is not an Ahmadi merely due to societal pressure or because of relationships. One should be an Ahmadi owing to being mindful of faith. If Ahmadi young men keep on marrying girls from outside what of Ahmadi girls? If attention is not given Ahmadiyyat may not remain in families.
Hazrat Khalifatul Masih said he often says to young men who marry outside that if they have married outside owing to some reason they should work on making a young man Ahmadi, make him a sincere Ahmadi and then arrange his match with an Ahmadi girl. This will give them an opportunity to do tabligh and also draw their attention to the significance of marrying Ahmadi girls.
At the start of his Khilafat in 1914 Hazrat Musleh Maud (may Allah be pleased with him) said that he was aware that people of Jama'at had problems relating to marriages between Ahmadis and non-Ahmadis but [after Khilafat] he understood from letters how much difficulty people were experiencing. The Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) had recommended that a register be kept of names of young men and women who were of marriageable age on the suggestion of a person who had said that there was great difficulty in marriages of young men and women. He said that the Promised Messiah's advice was not to foster relationships outside and people of the Jama'at were diverse, so what was to be done! Thus he suggested a register with names of Ahmadi young men and women which could be referred to every time someone asked for the Promised Messiah's advice on marriage, because he said that no one in the Jama'at would not take the Promised Messiah's advice. Some people make suggestions based on their personal interests and always end up in trouble because of this. It appears the intention of the person who made the suggestion was also not so good. Around the same time a very sincere Ahmadi approached the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) for advice on marriage and the Promised Messiah referred him to a daughter of the person who had suggested making a register. However, he made an extremely illogical excuse and married his daughter to a non-Ahmadi. When the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) came to know about this he said he was not going to get involved in marriage proposals again. Had this not been the case the Jama'at would not have faced the problems it does in this regard. One denial of what Prophet of God says can become a source of continuous trial for a community.
People who marry their daughters outside soon realise the mistake. People still write acknowledging that they are suffering due to the decisions they made. Some girls are restricted from meeting their families and are also deprived of their faith. There are also parents who owing to egotistical tendencies do not agree on good Ahmadi marriage proposals although the young man and woman are happy. Hazrat Khalifatul Masih said at times people have not accepted his suggestions for marital matches. He added that if there were people who did not accept the Promised Messiah's (on whom be peace) suggestions then by comparison people not accepting his suggestion was not so significant. However, such people do end up in horrific situations. Such a matter took place in Germany where parents did not let a girl get married where she wanted and murdered her and are now imprisoned. Parents should not be adamant when Ahmadi young men and women wish to get married by making huge issues of difference of caste and letting their egos get the better of them.
Another matter which should be clear as regards marriage is that in Islam a girl's choice as to where she gets married counts. The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) gave young women the right to choose. However, Islam also restricts that any nikah without the presence of a wali (guardian) of the girl is not valid. Hazrat Musleh Maud (may Allah be pleased with him) said that if God sent the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) and if he truly was from God then apart from the exemptions that our Islamic Shariah itself makes, no nikah is valid without a wali. It is our duty to explain these matters to people and if they do not accept then we should sever ties with them. An incident happened in the lifetime of the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace). A girl wished to get married to someone to which her father did not agree. The girl went to another town and had her nikah officiated by some mullah and announced that she was married. The couple returned to Qadian but the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) had them expelled from Qadian because they had their nikah performed against Shariah.
Hazrat Musleh Maud (may Allah be pleased with him) said he was also encountered a situation where a mother wanted to get her son married to a girl without the presence of a wali. She felt as long as the girl was happy why a wali's agreement was needed. Hazrat Musleh Maud put it to her how she like would if one of her daughters or daughters of their daughters would go off with someone from outside! Neither parents should be unduly strict and not get girls married owing to false pride nor does Islam permit girls to go to courts or to a maulawi and have their nikah performed. If there are certain problems they can write to Khalifa of the time and he will make a good decision in accordance with the situation. God's blessings are there when the principle of giving precedence to faith over worldly matters is kept in view.
Hazrat Khalifatul Masih said he often says to young men who marry outside that if they have married outside owing to some reason they should work on making a young man Ahmadi, make him a sincere Ahmadi and then arrange his match with an Ahmadi girl. This will give them an opportunity to do tabligh and also draw their attention to the significance of marrying Ahmadi girls.
At the start of his Khilafat in 1914 Hazrat Musleh Maud (may Allah be pleased with him) said that he was aware that people of Jama'at had problems relating to marriages between Ahmadis and non-Ahmadis but [after Khilafat] he understood from letters how much difficulty people were experiencing. The Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) had recommended that a register be kept of names of young men and women who were of marriageable age on the suggestion of a person who had said that there was great difficulty in marriages of young men and women. He said that the Promised Messiah's advice was not to foster relationships outside and people of the Jama'at were diverse, so what was to be done! Thus he suggested a register with names of Ahmadi young men and women which could be referred to every time someone asked for the Promised Messiah's advice on marriage, because he said that no one in the Jama'at would not take the Promised Messiah's advice. Some people make suggestions based on their personal interests and always end up in trouble because of this. It appears the intention of the person who made the suggestion was also not so good. Around the same time a very sincere Ahmadi approached the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) for advice on marriage and the Promised Messiah referred him to a daughter of the person who had suggested making a register. However, he made an extremely illogical excuse and married his daughter to a non-Ahmadi. When the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) came to know about this he said he was not going to get involved in marriage proposals again. Had this not been the case the Jama'at would not have faced the problems it does in this regard. One denial of what Prophet of God says can become a source of continuous trial for a community.
People who marry their daughters outside soon realise the mistake. People still write acknowledging that they are suffering due to the decisions they made. Some girls are restricted from meeting their families and are also deprived of their faith. There are also parents who owing to egotistical tendencies do not agree on good Ahmadi marriage proposals although the young man and woman are happy. Hazrat Khalifatul Masih said at times people have not accepted his suggestions for marital matches. He added that if there were people who did not accept the Promised Messiah's (on whom be peace) suggestions then by comparison people not accepting his suggestion was not so significant. However, such people do end up in horrific situations. Such a matter took place in Germany where parents did not let a girl get married where she wanted and murdered her and are now imprisoned. Parents should not be adamant when Ahmadi young men and women wish to get married by making huge issues of difference of caste and letting their egos get the better of them.
Another matter which should be clear as regards marriage is that in Islam a girl's choice as to where she gets married counts. The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be on him) gave young women the right to choose. However, Islam also restricts that any nikah without the presence of a wali (guardian) of the girl is not valid. Hazrat Musleh Maud (may Allah be pleased with him) said that if God sent the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) and if he truly was from God then apart from the exemptions that our Islamic Shariah itself makes, no nikah is valid without a wali. It is our duty to explain these matters to people and if they do not accept then we should sever ties with them. An incident happened in the lifetime of the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace). A girl wished to get married to someone to which her father did not agree. The girl went to another town and had her nikah officiated by some mullah and announced that she was married. The couple returned to Qadian but the Promised Messiah (on whom be peace) had them expelled from Qadian because they had their nikah performed against Shariah.
Hazrat Musleh Maud (may Allah be pleased with him) said he was also encountered a situation where a mother wanted to get her son married to a girl without the presence of a wali. She felt as long as the girl was happy why a wali's agreement was needed. Hazrat Musleh Maud put it to her how she like would if one of her daughters or daughters of their daughters would go off with someone from outside! Neither parents should be unduly strict and not get girls married owing to false pride nor does Islam permit girls to go to courts or to a maulawi and have their nikah performed. If there are certain problems they can write to Khalifa of the time and he will make a good decision in accordance with the situation. God's blessings are there when the principle of giving precedence to faith over worldly matters is kept in view.
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